Ad-dic-tion

Wasted Time
The time that I've wasted is my biggest regret. Spending time in "places" I will never forget. Just sitting and thinking about the things I have done. The crying, the laughing, the hurt and the fun.
Now, it's just me dealing with my hard-driven guilt. Behind a wall of emptiness I've allowed to be built. I'm trapped in my mind, just wanting to run, back to my youth where there's laughter and fun.
But, the chase is over and there's no place to hide. So much is gone, including my pride. With reality suddenly right in my face, I'm scared, alone and stuck in this "place".
Now, memories of the past flash through my head, and the pain is obvious by the tears that I've shed. I ask myself why and where I went wrong. I guess I was weak when I should have been strong.
Drinking to live, I'm now reaping what's sown. My feelings are lost, afraid to be shown. As I look at my past, it's so clear to see, the fear that I have, afraid to be me.
I live for the day when I'll get a new start. Fulfilling my dreams I hold deep in my heart. I know I can make it, I at least have to try, because I'm heading toward death and I don't want to die.
Gwen Smith

Dependency on alcohol and other drugs was once thought of as a moral problem. The addict was looked upon as a weak-willed individual who did not care about other people or even himself or herself. Today, of course, medical doctors, the clergy, and other professionals realize that chemical dependency is a disease which responds to treatment.
Addiction is a pathological relationship with a mood or mind-altering substance or behavior which renders one powerless and produces harmful consequences. The addicted person is often the last to accept the disease concept. But parents, spouses, and other people close to the addict are slow in identifying the disorder as an illness. This is because they, too, are simply too involved emotionally with the disease process. Addictions do not exist in a vacuum.
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The illness can be described.
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The course of the illness is predictable and progressive.
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The disease is primary – that is, it is not just a symptom of some other underlying disorder.
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It is permanent.
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It is terminal. If left untreated, it results in insanity or premature death.
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